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Obsessed with helping women understand what it means to be born again, talk to God, and move past religious baggage so they know their Self-Worth after the church.

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What Guides YOU After Leaving the Church? 5 W’s of Who YOU are and the 2 Questions to Ask Yourself in Every Situation.

February 10, 2022

Confused and Scared

Yes, there is definitely some relief too. You are free in so many ways, but you just made the decision to abandon everything you ever knew about God or religion, in one failed swoop. This is big stuff and now you are starting this faith journey from scratch, but with some baggage.

Today, we are talking about the 5 W’s of who you are now as an exmo and the 2 Big questions to ask yourself to help guide you on your journey of faith.

Who are you, what do you want most, what words do we need to redefine, what are your biggest worries, and if you could wave a magic wand what would you wish for?

Today is all about discovering who you are now that you left the LDS church and taking you from lost and confused to a life with Jesus.

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Top Resources to help you Rock The Christian Life as an Exmo

Today we are going over the 5 W’s of who you are. I have so many cool resources for you to help you in each of the departments that I talk about today. Videos, articles, podcasts, communities- all sorts of cool things to help with moving forward. I’ll talk about some of these today, but you are for sure going to want the Resources 101 for Exmos. I will continue to add to the page with things I find that will help you.

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1W- Who are YOU without the Church?

Right about now, you are feeling a bit lost. The Church affected every part of your life from your beliefs about God, all the way to what you ate and drank, what clothes you wore, how you talked, and who you talked to. It was all-encompassing and you just walked away from all of it. Many people’s heads explode right about now. No one would blame you if you found yourself on the kitchen floor crying in the fetal position.

But the super cool thing is, you are here, reading this which means- you are not ready to give up on Jesus and for that, I want to just yell a big hallelujah!

I know you are feeling a bit lost and confused and that’s okay because you are in the right place to get some answers. I know it’s truth you want and you don’t want any manmade lies.

I remember being there in that I felt like I just lost my compass. For me, I had been breaking the rules for a long while, but I knew I was breaking the rules. When I walked away suddenly there were no rules.

I also know your a mom, a daughter, a sister, a wife.

And guess what, you are also invited in to be a daughter of the King. -We’ll get there with what exactly this means, but when you find faith you are part of a whole new family, and it’s awesome.

2W- What YOU Want

Because you have family and because you are a mama, the biggest thing right now that you want is to know how to raise your kids. This is real. My kids are what brought me to Jesus 100%. It is confusing because we had something shoved down our thoughts that were all a lie. We tend to take our past experience of too much religion and apply it to the real Jesus. If I can say anything about my experience after leaving the church it is this- In an effort to not heap too much religion on my kids I inadvertently denied them knowing how loved they are by our creator. Stuff got real there for a bit. Because my beautiful girl had no idea God had knit her together in my womb and she was beautifully and fearfully made just the way she was intended to be she believed all sorts of terrible things the WORLD wanted her to believe. The enemy is sneaky, nor very creative, but sneaky.

I will say this, God was there, and when I said, “help me. I can’t do this on my own,” I knew He has been there the whole time.

When it comes to our biggest want after leaving the church of family, well, Jesus is our peace. He is the calm in the storm. More peace is never the wrong thing.

3W- Words of Truth YOU are Searching for

Let’s get into some big wants.

  • Truth- I know what it is like to pray, wish, beg for God to tell you it’s true, but God doesn’t say yes to crazy things. I know what bit feels like to be hungry for the truth.
  • Trust- Not something I wanted to do ever again when it came to people telling me what to believe. I know what it feels like to have no trust in religion or anything that seems like it possibly could be manmade- been there, done that.
  • Grace- I had no idea what grace really is. I totally believed grace could only get me so far and I truly didn’t think God had much grace at all for me.

4W- YOUR Biggest Worries

Do you find yourself up late at night questioning whether you will ever find true faith, reach a good faithful place with all the family, or truly ever feel worthy of God’s love, grace or enough? Do you wake up with big ambitious goals only to feel lost and overwhelmed when you are confronted with a new truth or are triggered by an old lie from the church again?

There is a lot here. Your worries are valid.

But I’m going to tell you a little something I feel like God has been telling me a lot lately-

Be Still.

Be patient with yourself and with those around you. This is a journey, not a sprint. Think about how patient God has been with you! We can be patient too.

5W- Your Biggest Wishes

You wish you could have a community.

You wish that you could have friends that don’t ditch you because you now will wear a tank top.

You wish your kids can know God’s true love.

You wish to know God.

You wish to know how to pray.

You wish someone could give you a compass, truth, to trust in something other than yourself, to have self-worth, to know you are loved.

You want faith…

Good thing you found Finding Faith Above! All these things, that bis what this podcast is here to help you with.

2 Questions to Guide YOU After Leaving the Church

We just talked about you– the 5W’s of who you are now that you left the church, but girlfriend, the story is far from over. Your faith story is just beginning.

I know making decisions on anything right now can seem so overwhelming. You don’t have the rules to follow or the social pressure to tell you what is the ‘correct’ path.

I remember being there. I spent 20 years feeling lost- that is waaaay to long by the way. Here is what I wish someone would have told me that would have helped me on this faith journey so much…

1. Ask yourself, “Is this Helping me to know God and make Him known?”

I still ask myself this question every day. Literally, every day. That is our ultimate goal right now, to know God, correct? So ask yourself, every time any ‘what do I do” moment comes up, just ask yourself- Is this helping me to know God and make Him known? If the answer is no, then is it helping you find peace (Jesus) or is it pulling you away closer to confusion?

This podcast- is probably one of the crazier things God has or may ever ask me to do, but is it helping me to know Him- yes because I spend every day in the word-finding truths to share with you. And is making Him known? I sure hope so.

That one is obvious, but you are questioning things like, what to drink, wear, say, watch- so ask yourself, is this bringing you closer to knowing Jesus? Some things are probably neutral, but other things are going to cause you to question something you never did as an LDS, am I doing this for my glory? Everything, when we were Mormon, was about us earning our way so it was all about our glory.

But here is the biggest secret to all of finding faith and once you get this, you will truly know God-

It’s not about you.

It’s about His glory.

So what you might have to get real honest with yourself about, is am I deciding to wear this for my glory? or for His?

Welcome to the concept of surrender. It sounds crazy, but nothing is more freeing than when you say to God, “I’m giving it all to you because I can not do this on my own. My life is yours- for your glory.”

It’s beautiful friends. True peace.

So ask, Is this helping me to know God and to make Him known?

2. Go to His Word, not YOUR Feelings

What I am NOT going to tell you to do is to pray and you will feel what you should do.


Feelings get us into trouble.

Are some feelings useful? I’m sure leaving the church started with some sort of feeling.

And praying is one of the most important things we should do. I think praying with a good group of Christian women is one of my favorite things about being a Christian.

But He speaks to us through His word- the bible. It is a living word. It speaks. So, yes, pray. Pray your heart out, but for answers let the holy spirit guide you in His word.

On this podcast, we are going to be talking about the bible a lot.

One of the biggest, most damaging things we were taught in the church was to not believe in the bible. Ol’ JS was pretty smart in that one. If you want to start a new religion that completely contradicts the Bible the first thing you have to do is convince the people that it is untrustworthy. That is something I didn’t even realize had happened so effectively until so many years later.

But we are going to get all the reasons why the Bible is not only trustworthy, but it just became your new compass.

God is going to speak so many beautiful things to you through it. Just open up and see.

Top Resources to help you Rock the Christian Life as an Exmo

Today we went over the 5 W’s of who you are. Again, I have so many cool resources for you to help you with all the things that I talked about today. Videos, articles, podcasts, communities- all sorts of cool things to help with moving forward.

In all our episodes moving forward we are going to be addressing these struggles, wishes, wants, even the top trigger words that you are dealing with now after leaving the church, but you are for sure going to want the Resources 101 for Exmos now to start your journey.

I will continue to add to the page with things I find that will help you. Videos, articles, all the cool stuff to help you learn to pray, find truth and gain trust in the Lord.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

Next Steps…

Find Community…

  1. Join the Christian Women After Religion Community

    Let’s share! Share your creative, God-led story, heal from the old religious junk and make friends while we do it. Support, friendship, and collaboration at the FB group — Here

With love, Shelby Hohsfield

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