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Obsessed with helping women understand what it means to be born again, talk to God, and move past religious baggage so they know their Self-Worth after the church.

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First Step After Failure- A Small Change with Massive Impact

January 11, 2022

Where to start after making mistakes.

New Years Resolutions…

We all start off with such good intentions and right about now most of you have already moved on and forgot all about the plan you were so fired up about. We make mistakes.

But what if you have made bigger mistakes than just eating that amazing breakfast sausage and cheddar sandwich from Starbucks you swore you were not going to eat this year? What if the mistakes you have made are causing you to question if anyone should ever forgive you? What if they are causing you to question your marriage, your worth, your life?

Where do you start? Where do you begin trying to make up for all the junk that was so bad?

I’m going to tell you a few things in this episode that may surprise you. What are the first steps after failure and where do we start after making mistakes- all in this episode.

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Guess What? We All Sin.

First off, we have to clear something up. This may come as a big shocker, but we all sin. That word, ‘sin’ is still, to this day a word I struggle a bit with. If you grew up like me in religion, there was a tremendous amount of pressure to be perfect. You can’t go to the temple if you are not perfect and not sinning. Jesus gave us the example of perfect and it is our entire purpose in this world to do just as he did, be perfect. Our acceptance from God and everyone around us is dependent upon being perfect. 

But guess what, girlfriend- We all sin. Everyday. You. Me. The pastor at church. The holiest person you know. We all sin. We are human. Very human and as humans, not Gods, we sin. Nobody, not a single person on this Earth has ever been perfect, with the exception of when our God became flesh and dwelt among us. That’s it.

And while this may be making you feel a bit cringy, and your thinking, “thanks, Shelby. I already felt bad enough,” I promise, this is a beautiful thing.

You see,

Our sin is proof of His Grace.

He loves you, just as you are. Your salvation was never dependant upon whether you sinned or not. You don’t have to prove your worth to Him or anyone else. He already knows you inside and out and He knows you will sin.

He loves you anyway.

God knows you make big, fat mistakes every day and He loves you no less.

He knew what you would do and Jesus still died for you. He gave His blood knowing full well the sins you would do.

You have already been forgiven by the only one that really matters.

For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9

Next Steps: How to Begin Again After Failure

I help women who have left ‘the church’ and don’t want to give up on Jesus, learn to trust and know you are enough because of His grace, not works and build a relationship after religion.

Now that you know that you are forgiven, I don’t want you dwelling on what you messed up on. Let’s talk about what is next-

First Steps After Failure- Where to Begin…

Just like any habit, any resolution, any goal, small steps can have huge results.

In the book, Atomic Habits, the author gives the example of an airplane trajectory. If the pilot sets the course just one degree off, the difference of the final destination will be thousands of miles and a completely different place than the intended endpoint. Just a one-degree change over time can be massive!

We can use this to our advantage.

I know unlearning bad ideas about God, grace, sin, and God’s love can be hard, but small changes to open your heart to Him over time will make a difference. In the end, a huge, thousands of miles, different city, massive kind of difference.

Small steps over time have a massive impact.

You are probably thinking that I am going to tell you to pray, which I am. Pray big ol’ fat, sobby crying prayers and tell God all about it. Ask Him for help, but don’t tell Him what He needs to do for you. Instead, ask Him for help with giving you direction. Tell Him you know you can’t do it alone. Give it to Him.

You also probably assume I am going to tell you to read the bible. Again, you’re right. Reading the bible is how we hear from God. Start with one like John. Read it in the NIV or NLT, something you can understand. Do it in quiet. Let it fill your heart.

And you might also assume I’m going to tell you to find a good Christian friend to talk to. Yes.

But none of those things are what we are talking about today. Today, we are talking about a small change, shift that make huge impact!

~One change, impeticular…

Your next step- Worship

You are wondering about big things like, how to improve my marriage after I did what I did? How do I raise my kids now after this? How can anyone ever look at me the same?

These are big things. I know and they are important, but remember- Small steps over time have a massive impact.

And that brings us to the First Steps After Failure- Where to Begin…


Bring God into your everyday life, and what better way to do this, but with a little worship.

I was thinking back at my time since I left the church. I was lost so often and searching. I can recall years of ups and downs, but the more I thought there was one thing that was always present when I was closer to God-


It is in all aspects of our lives. It drives culture, fashion, beliefs, speech, everything. It is all around us and in all parts of who we are.

So if we are wanting to make a one-degree shift in our trajectory closer to God doing something small that will have a big impact, why not music?

You’re Challenge Today if you Choose to Accept it…

…Listen to some amazing worship music.

I help women who have left ‘the church’ and don’t want to give up on Jesus, learn to trust and know you are enough because of His grace, not works and build a relationship after religion. Finding Faith Above.

We are not talking hymns, here (unless it’s Amazing Grace.) No, we are talking about some great worship music. The kind that I’m pretty sure you turned right off when you accidentally scrolled by on the radio when you were younger in fear that God would strike you down for listening to something about Him, not from the church. Ladies, it’s good.

Most worship music is written for people that have been through things- like you are!

Most worship music uses God’s words from the bible- bigger than words we could put together.

Most worship music is sung by people who are living God’s purpose. It is their gift from God that they are using to know Him and make Him known.

God doesn’t make mistakes and His timing is perfect.

So imagine- this writer was urged by God to look at this particular verse in the bible, written hundreds of years ago by someone who was divinely inspired by God. The writer uses the verse combined with the story they are working through and it comes together into a particular series of words on paper that would become a song. That song is then sung by someone urged by God to share their voice, their gift and it was played for the exact right people who then put that song together in a recording. That song then goes into a playlist. Then you read this and press play on that playlist, radio or Pandora station. But remember, all of that time was no accident. God is always working in the background. How much you want to bet, you listen one afternoon and you hear His words about what you are going through and the love He has for you and the strength you have in Him while you are going through this.

All of that for you.

A small change with a huge impact.

What if you chose to listen while you get ready in the morning? one-degree difference.

What if you chose to listen in the car? one-degree difference.

What if you chose to listen with your kids? one-degree difference.

What if you chose to listen while you made dinner? one-degree difference.

At work, on a walk, at the grocery store with your AirPods? one-degree difference.

Where to Listen

My favorite is Lauren Daigle. Love her voice. Here are some great suggestions.

K-Love on IHeart radio

This is on the regular radio also in most cities. What I always loved about K-Love is the DJs are really great. They always have cool motivating stories and things to think about in addition to the music.

Lauren Daigle Radio on Pandora

Again, she is one of my favorites. On Pandora, it will create a whole station with a similar sound. This is my go-to. Love this station! Be prepared to hear some great ones!

Worship🙌 playlist on Spotify

A great mix of super moving songs! Download and play away.

Small Changes with Huge Impact

I know listening to worship music doesn’t ‘fix’ all the problems going on right now in life. It doesn’t answer all the questions. But here is the deal, you can’t fix it all. What you can do is start turning your life towards Him- that one-degree change that invites Him in and changes everything!

Next Steps…

First Step After Failure- A Small Change with Massive Impact

  1. Forgive yourself for your mistakes- He already has.

    We all sin. We have all made mistakes and will continue to. The good news, you are forgiven and nothing you do will change His love for you.

  2. Understand Small changes over time have a massive impact.

    A one-degree change in your trajectory over time will bring you to a completely different destination. Have that destination be closer to God.

  3. The one change- Listen to Worship Music.

    Music moves us. I challenge you to put on some great worship music when you are getting ready, in the car, at work, at the grocery store, with your kids, making dinner, anywhere. See what this one-degree change can do to change your life.

  4. Join the Christian Women After Religion Community

    Let’s share! Share your creative, God-led story, heal from the old religious junk and make friends while we do it. Support, friendship, and collaboration at the FB group —> Here

I help women who have left ‘the church’ and don’t want to give up on Jesus, learn to trust and know you are enough because of His grace, not works and build a relationship after religion.
With love, Shelby Hohsfield

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