An Interview with Author and Coach, Lauren Roskilly.
From a Place of Depression to Living in Purpose.
Have you felt the tug of depression? Statistically, one in six women in the United States is on an anti-depressant. Not good odds. And all the self-help stuff often has only temporary relief, if not lasting negative effects. It becomes negative because the focus of all self-help goes back to one, solitary problem- ourselves. It always relies on us tapping into this strength we have somewhere inside us and suddenly snapping out of it. Then, when we can’t find this strength or it doesn’t last we are left feeling more deficient, more lost, less equipped, and more broken.
Ladies, It takes a true mind-shift to gain mental peace and that can’t be found in self-help books, the latest motivational trend, or even within our strength. This mind shift happens when the most amazing moment comes and you realize you were never meant to be the strong one. In fact, you were meant to surrender. His will is strong enough to move mountains. All we have to do is give it to Him.
The guest we have on the show today has focused all her work in Christ to make that mind shift. Lauren Roskilly is a woman who has walked through the fire, been in the depths of depression and illness and has risen above on His strength. With a renewed sense of purpose, she now lives in His purpose taking direction from God alone on where to serve. Lauren is a mum of two beautiful children. She has a BA Hons in Health and social care and also a diploma in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). She is the author of the book, ‘Christian-based Cognitive Behavioural therapy’, a Christian Life Coach, she helps people to recognize and overcome limiting beliefs & negative mindsets and help them to discover and step into their God-given purpose.
This episode spoke volumes to me and willing to be it will for you also.
Table of Contents for this Post
Listen to this Episode on the Podcast…
What is CBT?
“Oh, bless you. Thank you. Yeah, it wasn’t what I had planned for my life, but God’s had some different ideas and this year has just been phenomenal. Really. Yeah, it started with publishing the book. And so it was Christian-based cognitive behavioral therapy. And so it’s like a course slash book with eight sessions.
So combined CBT. Cognitive behavior therapy with prayer, scripture, biblical meditation, and biblical mindfulness. And it’s it set out like a course or like you would have CBT and there are little bits of homework and exercises and Meditation prompts in there as, as well. Yeah, that was the beginning of this ministry.”
And that is basically what CBCBT(Christ-Based Cognative Behavior Therapy) does. It changes those thought processes. So it’s turning our focus and our mindset round onto God- onto the father, son and the holy spirit.~Lauren Roskilly
Advice for Women Finding Faith
“You are not alone. You might feel like you are, and I get that, but you are not alone. Jesus is there. Please do just reach out to him, whether you feel like you said or not, he is there. Reach out with him, take that step, try and rebuild that relationship with him and yeah. Reach out to anyone around you that you can trust, whether it’s a close friend or family member, or even. And elders from your local church. Please reach out to someone because all the time you’re keeping to yourself you’re isolating yourself from other people and that’s not healthy. Yeah, just reach out and start rebuilding those relationships.”
How to keep going with your faith…
- Build a Community
Let’s share! Share your creative, God-led story, heal from the old religious junk and make friends while we do it. Support, friendship, and collaboration at the FB group —u003e Christian Women after Religion
More About Lauren Roskilly…
Lauren is a mum of two beautiful children. She has a BA Hons in Health and social care and also a diploma in CBT. Lauren became a born-again Christian in 2004. She is transparent about her ups and downs with mental health, depression, anxiety, and self-harm. But God helped her with these and she has learned to refocus from the negative and towards Christ. She practices being mindful of Him, thus the name of her blog ‘Mindful of Christ’. She is the author of ‘Christian-based Cognitive Behavioural therapy.’ A Speaker and a Christian Life Coach where she helps people to recognize & overcome limiting beliefs & negative mindsets and help them to discover and step into their God-given purpose.
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Full Transcript of Today’s Episode.
[00:00:00] Shelby: Hi, Lauren. I am so happy that you are here with us today. I am just honored to hear your story and a little bit more about your work. You are just doing amazing things in this world.
[00:00:14] Lauren: Hi, thank you for having me show up. Must be here.
[00:00:18] Shelby: Yes. So to start with. Like I said, I think God is really just doing some big things in your life.
[00:00:24] You are an author, you have this beautiful website and all the different, amazing things that it looks like you are doing for the Lord. Just wanted to open it up first to start with just to see what it is all you do and just share what you do, because it all just looks so so meaningful.
[00:00:42] Lauren: Oh, bless you. Thank you. Yeah, it wasn’t what I had planned for my life, but God’s had some different ideas and this year has just been phenomenal. Really. Yeah, it started with publishing the book. And so it was [00:01:00] Christian based cognitive behavioral therapy. And so it’s like a course slash book with eight sessions.
[00:01:08] So combined CBT. Cognitive behavior therapy with prayer, scripture, biblical meditation and biblical mindfulness. And it’s it set out like a course or like you would have CBT and there’s little bits of homework and exercises and Meditation prompts in there as, as well. Yeah, that was the beginning of this ministry yeah.
[00:01:36] That’s amazing. And you also do some speaking, you have a blog, you do all sorts of fun stuff. Yes. Great. Actually I said the book started it off. This book was the start of this year, but the blogs, I started off with the blog three, three years ago now. Yeah. After coming out of depression and God was telling me to Isaac.
[00:01:58] And how other [00:02:00] people. And I had a bit of a argument with him at first thinking I wasn’t ready. But turns out his plan was right. And I, it took me two weeks. I didn’t, you told me to start blogging. I didn’t even know what blocking was. So I had to research it’s that, and then that started. And yeah, that was that just over three years ago now.
[00:02:24] Isn’t it funny too, how God does that. He always asks us to do the crazy biggest things that we’re like what does that, where am I supposed to go with this? But as my late grandfather said, his timing is always perfect. And so we just have to trust him, but you do have a story on how you got here and stories mean so much especially to new Christian women who are coming into faith and trying to figure out who God is and.
[00:02:49] How he is going to work in our life. And that’s why I opened up this podcast to everyone to just share their story on how they got to where they are and how God is working in their life. And so I [00:03:00] wanted to open that up to you to be able to to share a little bit more about your story and in hopes that it will touch someone and move them forward with the Lord.
[00:03:09] Okay. Great. Thank you. Button or stop me if I have any questions, cause I’m just go. No, you go. I want to hear it. Okay. When I was 14, I started having fainting episodes. It was happen 2, 3, 8, 5 times a day and almost every day. And I was in and out of hospital for years and years from test up to test done.
[00:03:36] And they never gave me a diagnosis. It was. Yeah. So I spent half of my school years in hospital. But, yeah. And with that came mental health issues as well in 2002, I tried taking my life and it wasn’t just that it was other stuff as well, but[00:04:00] yeah, it had a impact on that. And then in. To probably about four or five years ago now, I, it stopped.
[00:04:11] So it comes and goes and seasons. So for 24 years it’s been the seasonal. So it will last usually a couple of years. And then it’ll go quiet. For a little while for maybe a couple of months up to a year. And, but it was never long enough for me to be able to take my driving lessons. And then about four or five years ago, it did stop long enough for me to do them.
[00:04:37] So did my driving lessons. I was newly a single mum. And I was working for Christian charity, passed my test, passed my driving test and started driving and things seemed great at that time. And it was, it did fit it. And then three months after driving. [00:05:00] And let’s say three months after driving around and being like this I had another really bad episode and it put me in hospital on the cardiology ward for a week.
[00:05:13] As a result from that, the consultant told me I couldn’t drive anymore. My, I had to go on sick, leave from work, who then asked me to resign. And then a month later they finally gave me. Gave me a diagnosis. They called it neurocardiogenic syncope and the consultant told me that there wasn’t a cure or treatment for it.
[00:05:37] With all of that stuff going on, I just, and being really ill. I just went into this state of depression again. My daughter was helping out around the house, so she must’ve been 15. Something like that at the time she was having it ran the house, she would have me in and out the shower. Slept [00:06:00] with my son, got upset if I cause Mount Tom cuss, concussed myself when I black out and he’d get upset.
[00:06:06] So she was having to deal with me, him and yeah, she was incredible. And my heart just goes out to her and I’m just, I’m totally grateful for her at that time. But I felt like a burden and I felt like I was a useless mother. I couldn’t do the things that I felt a mum should be doing. That word should probably come back to that later, but yeah.
[00:06:33] Things were out of my control. There was nothing I could do about it. And on top of that, I was stuck in doors. So I’ve been, I don’t leave the house on my own anymore for three and a half years. I haven’t part from last week when I went to the hospital that someone took me anyway, long story short, I had a left, but I couldn’t go in with anyone.
[00:06:55] So that was my first time out. But. Yeah. [00:07:00] So it was really tough and I was self-harming as well. Per se, I just withdrew from everyone and everything. So it was weird because it was like, I was lonely and yeah, I wanted to be alone and I want, I needed help, but I didn’t want to ask for it sort of thing.
[00:07:18] It was that’s quite the case with people with depression. Yeah, and yeah, it wasn’t a pretty time. I felt like I was in a pit of darkness and though my faith I’d been a Christian. 15 odd years, it’s a born again, Christian. So I knew he was real. I just felt like he wasn’t there. And obviously I have my kids, so I wouldn’t have taken, tried to take my life again because, but I just felt so desperate.
[00:07:52] Anyway, some time after. Feeling like that slide it’s gone on for some time. [00:08:00] And I just decided one day I just woke up. So I’m fed up with feeling like this. I don’t want to feel like this anymore. And I literally, I was actually face down on the floor, crying my eyes out to God and. No, please help me.
[00:08:16] I don’t want to be in this earth. Walk, help, helped me in it or take me away. And yeah, that was the beginning of it really a couple of weeks later. And I just, I began to rebuild my relationship with him. So like reading the Bible against starting listening to worship music it wasn’t easy.
[00:08:36] It’s. Doing devotionals. That was like the easy way in listen to worship music that I suppose it wasn’t worship music, bit of Christian music, but it was like things like in the eye of the storm and things like that was like, it’s okay. Not to be okay. Those sort of songs that kind of met me where I was.
[00:08:58] So it [00:09:00] was, that was really helpful. And I just started building up that relationship with God. And yeah. So since then, I’ll just began to grow again with him. And he asked me to write the book and again, I didn’t feel like I was ready. And it wasn’t because I was at the same time, I was doing a long distance university degree, health and social care.
[00:09:26] And half of that was mental health. And. Jerry and some prayer time, God said to me about writing the book and it was to do with mental health and faith. And that’s all I knew anyway, a little bit late later, I think it was be able to go. I was, again, I just resubmitted to God and I just said, look, I’m not doing this on my own.
[00:09:57] I’m going to give up any sense of [00:10:00] that, not being in control, but wanting to be in control. And I’m going to give it all to you. And I did. I literally gave him every area of my life. So where I’d like in the past, I’d like, yes. I thought my relationship with God was good. And it was, I’m not saying it wasn’t, but then I went through the depression and then other situations and circumstances and steaks.
[00:10:27] And then I was like, yeah, I’m not doing this anymore. This is yours. My life is yours. Lord hands up and just gave him every area of my life. And I began building up that relationship with him on another day. It was building my relationship with him basically, like we would with a friend or a family or a spouse.
[00:10:52] We just spent more time with him, got to know him by reading his word and worshiping him [00:11:00] and yeah. And then it was after I decided to that and submitted and gave up my self for him. That this ministry started growing. Like I said, the book was published in January and yeah. Loads of other stuff that’s been happening this year as well.
[00:11:22] But I’ll put it back over to you now. Oh, that’s amazing. I read a statistic the other day, one in, I believe it’s six women now is on an antidepressant and that there may be American figures. I’m not sure where where that lands, where you are. But this story is something that I think is more normal than.
[00:11:45] It should be. There’s so many people are suffering and so many people are going through hard times and not knowing how to get out of it. And I know for myself I dealt with some things before in my life as well, and really feeling lost [00:12:00] for a long time. And. It really was not until I had my moment like yours where, it was two 30 in the morning.
[00:12:07] I’m crying to God. And I basically just said, I can’t do this by myself. And the world wants to tell you, you can, they want to tell you’re strong enough. Why can’t you get out of it? Why can’t you go do these things? Why are you having a hard time? You’re strong enough. But I think when you have that moment, when we say, you know what, God, I know I’m not strong enough here.
[00:12:28] I need you. And then it’s you get this strength that is. It is other worldly it’s from him to yeah. A hundred percent. And that’s that first, that Kaepernick, one of the verses that kept going through all of this was flipping sports 13. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It’s not our strength, it’s his, and just by connecting with him and building that relationship with him, we can tune in to that strength and.
[00:12:59] Empowered [00:13:00] if you want to use that word, but yeah. On a completely different level and it doesn’t happen necessarily overnight, but our outlook changes. So it’s like that transformation and that relationship has to be built within. And that takes some time. And his purpose for us then I think is revealed through that growing.
[00:13:20] But. The transformation of us being able to see the world differently and having that strength that happens almost right away. When you give it to him, it just takes a little bit of time for us to get up like all the Gusto to make it all happen. But it sounds like you are, which is awesome. So you mentioned the word should, and that maybe we should come back to.
[00:13:40] What were you thinking there with the word should, that’s an important word, the important word. And so after that period of time, I began a course of CBT. So I was having CBT myself and for those of you that not that aren’t aware of what CBT is yet then it’s Christian that [00:14:00] there was no, sorry, it’s cognitive behavioral therapy and it’s a talking therapy.
[00:14:04] It’s one of the top talking therapies these days. And it’s used to have. Retrain your mind and basically changed change in those thought processes around from, for instance, in my case, things that I felt like I should. Be doing or those thoughts that were limiting me beliefs that weren’t Crites weren’t quite correct.
[00:14:35] And it can help you basically re reaching, shall we say, reaching our thought processes and we do that and should, is a word that My therapist picked up on that. I kept saying, because at that time I felt that I should be doing the school run. So I should be making the kids [00:15:00] dinner. These are like things that you would think a mum should do, but that word should, can be quite dangerous because that word.
[00:15:12] Was probably one of the main reasons that I ended up in that mindset and that kind of pit, so to speak because I felt I should be doing these things and it wasn’t until I’d finished that course, that I’d realize, oh hold on a minute. Yes. As a mum, we probably agree to use the word again, should be doing these things.
[00:15:36] But my story, my testimony was different and that’s going to be the same for every one. We’ve all got different circumstances. And I shouldn’t have been doing all that stuff because I was ill. What I should be doing was probably a bit of self care and listening to what my body needed. And that was.
[00:15:58] Rest and [00:16:00] water and medication, but it was, yeah, even though those things couldn’t make me better and the doctors couldn’t make me better, I felt that ah, I’ve been doing certain things when in fact that wasn’t actually the case. That’s basically what I mean by the word. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that’s a big thing for a lot of women.
[00:16:25] The world really wants to put us in a box of what we should be doing. But we know that God has very different plan for us. It is his will is a lot bigger than the should. We just have to figure out how to get that. To his will, as opposed to all the pressures that the world does put on us, that aren’t going to lead us in the direction often that he wants us going and where we need to be as productive human beings, living his word and his life.
[00:16:53] A big part of what I truly believe is that our purpose in this world is to know God and to make him known. And we get [00:17:00] really caught up a lot of times. All the other stuff that the world says our purpose should be. Getting to that place where he really speaks to us and through us and moving forward, that’s really our goal and where we should be and where we will be the most at peace.
[00:17:15] And by getting there’s hearts. Yes. Yes, exactly. So more about your book, cause you mentioned the cognitive behavioral therapy, but your book is all Christian based. So how does that work? How does the Christian side of it and bringing that to CBT work? Okay. As I said, with cognitive behavioral therapy is about changing of thought processes and how it works and what our focus is on and what our mind is on.
[00:17:47] We. Mindful of the situations around us. So we mindful of the negative stuff that is going on. And are we mindful of [00:18:00] ourselves and may perhaps other people, or are we mindful of price? And then they were from my blog. And that is basically what CBC BT does. It changes those thought processes. So it’s doing the same thing, but instead it’s turning our focus and our mindset round onto God onto the father, son and the holy spirit.
[00:18:27] And How it should be. Romans 12 two says be transformed by the renewing of our minds. We need to renew our minds and that is. I hope and pray one way of doing it. Yeah, I’ve had some lovely feedback and it seems to be going good. So thank y’all just praise him for that. Yeah, I am so happy.
[00:18:53] We’re bringing this into this podcast because the whole point of this ministry that I do is [00:19:00] helping women who have gone through more serious religious past that, left God completely been lost and now they are coming into a Christian life. And the thing that has to happen is that reframing of the.
[00:19:14] That has to happen because a lot of times, too, when you’re coming from a different, more workspace religious past your mindset is you’ve been told certain things about God and you’ve been told certain things about who you are in God. And it’s your brain tends to want to reject everything like throwing the baby out with bath water.
[00:19:34] And so moving forward though, with Christ, you have to have that mind shift and you have to be open to wanting to do that and to learn who he really is. And. So I would just suggest, I think that this book is an amazing tool for anyone who is going through that to be able to use. So thank you for bringing that to us because I think it, it could really [00:20:00] help so many women out there.
[00:20:02] Thank you. You’re welcome. I also just wanted to talk a little bit about what all else you do and where people could find you, and if they wanted to work more with you on this. Because I think that this is something that a lot of people could really benefit from a where would they go to be able to continue to learn more and to work with.
[00:20:22] Okay. So my website is mindful of crest.net, and I also have a fable. I’m also a Christian one set coach. So we work on limiting beliefs and confidence, and we are, my packages include CBT and other techniques and tools as well. I also have a program. So I’ve got coaching programs and then I’ve got another little section which is called support and accountability.
[00:20:54] So I can work alongside the book with people as well. And that’s [00:21:00] a much lower rate than the coaching. But yeah that’s all on the website. So of price.net and yeah, I just work online remotely. So we do it like we are on zoom. One-to-one sessions have a challenge coming out in the new year.
[00:21:18] I just in the process of putting it altogether good indestructable face. And at the same time, I’ll be launching my next book. So yeah it’s not finished yet, but the new January, February time is my aim for that. And that’s basically The Skype also going to be cooled indestructable faith, and it’s going to be Pret and general prompts and yes, a mixture of that.
[00:21:45] So yeah, I’m not going to give too much away. I love it. All right. So for women who are struggling in their faith and are just new to Jesus and maybe just struggling in general in life and and really could use some encouragement. [00:22:00] What would you suggest to help them to find that faith and to move forward?
[00:22:07] Okay. That’s late. I’d say you are not alone. You might feel like you are, and I get that, but you are not alone. Jesus is there. Please do just reach out to him, whether you feel like you said or not, he is there. Reach out with him, take that step, try and rebuild that relationship with him and yeah. Reach out to anyone around you that you can trust, whether it’s a close friend or family member, or even.
[00:22:44] And elders from your local church. Please reach out to someone because all the time you’re keeping to yourself you’re isolating yourself from other people and that’s not healthy. Yeah, just reach out and start rebuilding those relationships. [00:23:00] Thank you so much Lauren, for being here today.
[00:23:03] I think that your work is really going to help so many people, and I really feel honored to have you here today. So thank you. Thank you so much, Shelby. I’ve enjoyed it. Thank you. It’s nice to chassis. Awesome.